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The Home Depot

When : February 3, 2014

Where: The Home Depot

Why: I have experience with home improvement projects and tools, growing up as my father’s daughter. A chunk of my childhood was spent in Carter Lumber and Gordon Lumber in Port Clinton. Playing in the living room on a weekend afternoon as my dad watched television, I unknowingly absorbed episode upon episode of New Yankee Workshop and the Woodwright’s Shop. I do love painting supplies, no matter if the finished masterpiece is meant for a canvas or an entire house. But mostly, I can walk to our Home Depot if necessary. 

Cincinnati Museum Center

Yesterday, my husband and I did something together (and ended up having a wonderful, unexpected Saturday afternoon); we applied for positions at Cincinnati Museum Center at Union Terminal!

This is the beginning of the more fun entries to my blog, the “When,“ “Where,” and “Why.” The “Outcomes” will soon follow. This is the start of my job search. (I have said I’ve been looking repeatedly, when really I haven’t. Reading library books on how to write a cover letter and my half-hearted attempt at finding a job for Christmas doesn’t count, I know that. (I feel somewhat accomplished, but learning how to word the perfect resume is the same as doing nothing.)

When: February 1st, 2014

Where: Cincinnati Museum Center

Why: What an amazing building! I dig the art deco style, the mosaics in the rotunda, the warm colors. Granted I applied for a part time position and it’s retail (something my next full time job will NOT be), but this retail job is inside the once main hub and heart of Cincinnati. It’s a fascinating place rich with history, and the visitors there generally have a fantastic visit because they WANT to be there. It will be a unique experience if I do get this position.

Work from home?

Apparently, these are jobs that allow you to work from home. (There were a few more on a list provided by Cincinnati’s WLWT website, but those were definitely not options.) In addition to searching for anything, everywhere I can, I’m going to see if my BFA degree can get me into these:

Paralegal

Travel Counselor 

Merchandiser 

Environmental protection specialist

Remember, when you graduated from art school, it wasn’t a “real school” and so you must find “real world” jobs without any “real world” skills. And real world jobs are anything. If I went to college for say, being a teacher, I’d get teaching job recommendations. Artists get any piece of shit job imaginable recommended to them. But face it, most people you now probably have no idea what art even is, as if it’s a foreign language from an unknown land. But these people are good at looking at newspapers and telling you about shift manager positions at the local Arby’s. People wonder why artists so fucking frustrated.

Of the 18 Ways…

In preparation in finding a new job, I’ve decided to read the job seeker’s staple, What Color is Your Parachute? (the 2011 edition). Hopefully this will tell me what kind of job I want and how to get it. 

I mean, I like art. Hell, I more than like art. I LOVE it. I NEED it to LIVE. 

BUT!

Somewhere along the way I got the crazy idea that art and a career were two different things. I received all my training in art and earned my Bachelor of Fine Arts in illustration, meaning, I have all these fab art skills that cannot possibly be applied to real life. And real life skills are not taught in art school. (And HAHAHA art school; Either loved ones in your life will think you can do ANYTHING with a BFA or they will say, “wasn’t that fun? Now, Arby’s is hiring a shift manager. You should apply!”)

BUT!

I’m a creative person! Right?! Maybe I’ll find art school skills that real employers are looking for. Maybe I’ll even find *gasp* an art job (that doesn’t involve sitting on my ass in front of Photoshop and doing cookie-cutter crap day in and day out)! 

With luck, this book will show me passions I have in life I have yet to discover and possible ways to use my talents I’ve never even considered. (I saw a commercial for a community college where you can become a HVAC technician. Who knows? Maybe I’d love it. Or a medical massage therapist. I’m gonna to find out!)

So, onto useful points I’ve learned so far in the book: 

There are eighteen ways to find the kind of work that would suit me best (they’re listed in the book.) Most people only choose ONE way and that is why they give up after a month of job searching. Using several ways is better. However, using many, many ways (like all 18) can be overwhelming. 

Of the eighteen, the five BEST ways to find a job are:

1. Going to a company that interests me, a place I WANT to work, and apply regardless if they are hiring or not. (47% success rate)

2. Using the yellow pages and find subjects of interest to me, then apply to the companies listed under each subject. (59%)

3. Asking for job leads from people you know, career centers, and links on LinkedIn. (80%)

4. Joining a job-club. (84%)

5. Doing a life-changing job-hunt. Essentially finding yourself before beginning the search. Simply ask what, where, and how?

I’ve also learned the most common methods, sending out resume after resume and searching solely online, are ineffective. 

Conclusion: Expand my mind, broaden my horizons, and go for it! And as much as I fight it, I’m going to have to actually talk to people. 

Happy 2014!

I’m back! After neglecting this blog for quite sometime, I’ve decided to begin writing again as part of my new year’s resolution. Frankly, I LOVE making huge goals, life-changing commitments, and artistic aspirations, but I always manage to slowly slip away from all these grandiose plans. Three years in a row I tried to do a “photo of the day.“ I made it to March each time and was honestly surprised I got that far. (My goal was taking artistic photographs in hopes of “seeing the world from different angles” and usually wound up snapping a picture of something random like my shoes at 11:59pm.) Though I always joke “I’m going to quit smoking and lose 50 pounds!“ whenever I‘m asked about my resolutions, I honestly am going try this time. So, I simply asked, “What can I do everyday to make me happy?”

10K Steps: I am usually good at this, but I’m going to try to always hit my ten thousand steps. 

Art: Work on an art project or hustle my art. Or both.

Career: I need a non-embarrassing job ASAP. ‘Nuf said. (Hopefully this will drop off my daily things to do SOON.)

Read: Read everyday. I am angry I never seemed to have time to read last year, but in reality I never MADE time to read. My nightly ritual of checking Facebook and Twitter over and over for an hour in bed could have been spent reading instead.

Exercise: In addition to reaching 10K steps, I’m going to go work out 30-60 minutes.

Eat: As in, eat HEALTHIER. 

Drink: Be sure to drink plenty of water. I’m so good at doing this in the summer months, but the in the wintertime it’s more difficult. I prefer warm beverages, like coffee and hot cocoa, when it’s cold and never want water so I end up feeling dehydrated.  

Things I’ve decided NOT to discuss in blogs or Facebook are babies and mothers. I want a baby and I’ve unfairly shoved this in people’s faces. That top is to be discussed solely by my husband and me. Besides, ANYTHING people say isn’t “right” by me. I take peoples’ silence meaning anything from “They think I’m going to be a terrible mother!” to “They all know we’re poor so they aren’t saying anything to encourage me!” (This is how my mind works. Someone did suggest I have a dog instead because they weren’t sure if I knew “a baby is forever.” I’ve only had five people honestly become excited at the thought of  me having a baby. So, after upsetting myself in 2012, I’m not mentioning it again. 

I’m also not mentioning my mom, any memory I have, anything. Nobody knows how to react, and I am sorry I put anyone in this position. I have a private journal I keep discussing everything Mom. Remember the golden rule of Facebook: You can put a generic meme about “crying a trail of rainbow unicorn tears to visit a loved one in heaven” but you can’t share a real memory of said loved one.

I’ve also decided to keep this blog exclusively a job adventure blog. I’m going to track where I’ve applied, how interviews went, and anything else I’ve discovered along the way.  I also have my art blog, www.adriftinohio.tumblr.com.

So here’s to 2014! Hope it’s productive!

I’M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!

I AM SUPER EXCITED! My sister-in-law, Stephy, called me October 18th to let me know the big news and I was shocked and happy for her and her husband, Michael. It’s finally happening! I thought. The “kids” of the family are making our “own” family. The “new” Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions, birthday and Halloween parties, and I am going to be a part of it all!

Honestly, I had dreamed of this moment ever since high school, when I finally discovered boys and the true meaning of a serious relationship. In grade school I figured I could marry this boy named Travis, because he had so many brothers and sisters I couldn’t count them all. Wow! Wouldn‘t that be fun? Then in junior high, I had a slight crush on my friend Katie’s brother, Steve. This was more for convenience, however, because Katie and I could be SISTERS! I realize how stupid I had been and thankfully this all changed in high school. Even then, I really didn’t know what to expect when it came to dating. This fabulous man-discovery happened too late, when every guy in high school ignored me and I thought dating would be silly since I would be leaving for college anyway. I did know what I wanted eventually, though, and wanted a marriage like my mom and dad’s. I saw my mom as a dedicated wife and mother, and our little three-member family meant everything to her. I loved it being just the three of us, but still treasure all the memories I have of growing up with Christmas parties and Thanksgiving dinners with my aunts, uncles, and cousins, too. Yes, this may sound strange, but I never pictured a luxurious wedding or an exotic honeymoon, yet pictured day-to-day moments with my very own family. In addition, I knew my only shot at ever becoming an aunt myself was to marry a man with siblings. 

IT’S HAPPENING!

And with this news came multiple discussions with my husband over having a child of our own. Soon. We both want children and think our soon-to-be niece or nephew would love to have a cousin to play with. 

So, 2013 will welcome a new baby for my sister and brother-in-law in May, a BRAND NEW brother-in-law for me when my husband’s sister Jen gets married in October, and POSSIBLY a big announcement from my husband and me. *keeping fingers crossed*

To recap, 2013 is going to be AWESOME!

Momisms

I was going through old flashdrives and found this gem. My husband will be thrilled.

Momisms:

bath (Pronounced with a short “A”—- like a bleating sheep)

belt See Brrr

bomb A car. Example—-Look at that guy in that bomb over there! He just went through a red light!

bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 1.To look refreshed. Example—-For being up early, you certainly look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! 2. To be awake. Example—-If we want to make it Casino Windsor by eight AM, we have to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by five! (Author’s note—-I HATE this expression with a passion!)

brrr Beer. Example—-Hey, Kid!, go get me another brrr, wouldja?

buzz the ave To cruise through a lively section of town to see what interesting things are taking place. Example—-I’m gonna go buzz the ave and see what’s going on! 

creepin’ crud The common cold. Example—-Eww! Do you think you’ve got the creepin’ crud? Cuz if you do, don’t breathe on me!

crutch A car that is in disrepair, rusted-out, and an all-around whip but miraculously still runs. Example—-I hope your aunt gets rid of that old crutch. It’s four different colors and held together with duct tape. (Note: Every crutch is a bomb, but every bombs is a crutch)

fungus Suspicious looking person/people. Example—-Lock the doors! There’s fungus walking down the sidewalk! (Dad-ism)

get our butts to butterin’! To get busy. Example—-If we want to have that roast done by six, we’ve got to get our butts to butterin’!

he/she/you sound/s like a fifty-cent bicycle pump Simile used to describe how a person’s breathing sounds when that person has a cold. 

Hey Suze! Sounding similar to the Spanish pronunciation of  “Jesus,” this expression is used by my dad at least a dozen times per day. Examples include—Hey Suze, c‘mere a minute and Hey Suze, get me another brrr!

Holy Toledo! See Jesus Ohio!

honeycooler A person that appears dirty or unkempt. Also describes a potentially dishonest or violent person. Examples—-I’ve been sweatin’ up a storm painting all day. I must look like a real honeycooler. OR The Toledo police just arrested a man for raping a three-month-old. What a real honeycooler!

it’s on the table! Another way of saying that supper is ready. Supper doesn’t even have to be physically on the table, either. Repeat this as often as necessary until everyone is seated at the table. 

Jesus Ohio! An exclaimation of surprise, shock, or excitement. On a map, Holy Toledo! Is located in the northwest region of Jesus Ohio!

nast Snot or germs. Example—-You sound like a fifty-cent bicycle pump! Wash your hands and don’t nast all over me!

nose pickin’ music Rap, hip-hop, or any music where people scream. (Dad-ism)

not gonna get up til I wake up An expression that describes the desire to obtain a full-night’s rest without setting an alarm.

O (Pronounced ‘Ol) Oil.

OK! (Pronounced with a long “O” Oooooooh KAY!) Repeat as often as you feel when there is nothing to be said but you feel obligated to say something. To add emphasis, it helps to snap your fingers or clap your hands, as well.

rid off the table To clear the dinner table. (Dad-ism)

sack Bed. Example—-I’m gonna go hit the sack.

snot rag A tissue, especially an used one.

that’s nice Spoken with a sarcastic tone, it denotes disgust or displeasure when something goes wrong. Example—-”Mom, that cat just puked on your bed!” “That’s nice!”

what’s the haps? Shortened, “hip” version that’s located somewhere between “Whuzup?!“ and “What is happening?” (Dad-ism)

whew! Use this expression often, especially after a succession of sneezes. 

whipstitch Describes an event that happens often or habitually. Another way to say “again and again.”  Example—-I can’t be buyin’ you liquor every whipstitch! What are you? Some lush?!

winder lights Windows. Example—-Well, now that it’s dark I’m gonna go close up the winder lights.

Baby now! (is what I say to my husband)

I am drunk.

On a Wednesday.

Because, why not?

In other news my husband PROMISED me I can have a baby next year. (He may have had his fingers crossed behind his back. Who knows.)

I guess pregnancy would end my drunken Wednesdays. (And any other day ending in Y, for that matter.)

Well, good. My husband, father, and my mother (when she was here) all thought I drank too much. 

They’d all be thrilled I’d buying baby formula over vodka, anyhow. 

Honest to hell having a baby is a win-win situation. Besides, both our families are fantastic with just the right amount of disfunction to make us interesting. Subjecting a poor, innocent child to us all seems so…so right!

Baby now!

I’ll have another! (beer) I am making homemade french fries in the OVEN. I better check ‘em before I burn my apartment down…

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